Scandal
by KitLee
Summary: Contrary to her current appearance, Minerva McGonagall had a rather scandalous time at Hogwarts. Full of romance and angst, mainly angst.


Title: Scandal  
Author name: KitLee  
Author e-mail: Kitlee02@aol.com  
Category: Angst  
Keywords: Minerva  
Rating: PG-13  
Spoilers: none  
Summary: A look back at Minerva McGonagall and her rather scandalous love affair.  
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.  
Author's Note: This is a very angsty, sad story. Do not read it if you are expecting "And they lived happily ever after." This is not one of those stories. Also, I am once again using the assumption that McGonagall is in her 40s. This goes along with my previous fic, "What Dumbledore Saw" (the version on FictionAlley, not on ff.n).  
  
*****  
  
Prologue  
  
Often at night, after a long day of teaching, when I'm lying in my bed, his face flies unbidden into my mind. I see his auburn hair (complete with that one piece that always flopped around), his sparkling blue eyes, and his tall thin frame. I see his smile as he played with the girls or after a night of fighting and making up. Even after all these years, part of me doesn't want to admit that he is gone from me forever. Part of me still expects him to walk through my door, as casual and as cocky as ever. During the day I must put on a brave front for the girls, but at night I allow myself to yearn.  
  
The girls. My girls. My three girls: smart, beautiful, and talented. Known to the world as the McGonagall-Dumbledore girls, famous and infamous. They were born of scandal over many years, and I've always felt guilty that they had to come into the world like that.  
  
*****  
  
When I was just a girl at Hogwarts, I had a fine life. I had four terrific best friends, and the five of us were as close a group as there ever was: brainy Minerva, sweet Poppy, dreamy Sibyl, adventurous Daniel, and cunning Lucius. We spanned all four houses -- a rare feat indeed. Lucius Malfoy was of course a Slytherin; Poppy Pomfrey was a Ravenclaw; Sibyl Trelawney was our Hufflepuff; and Daniel Weasley and I were the Gryffindors, although Poppy always joked that I should join her in Ravenclaw. We were a terrific group and saw each other through everything from schoolwork and exams to crushes and first kisses.  
  
That is, we were until the seventh year. That was the year that I broke up with Lucius, my boyfriend for the past year, to date Daniel Weasley, even though I knew that Sibyl was madly in love with him. Everyone always teased me because behind my serious personality, I was always falling in love with a new guy. There was Arthur Weasley, Daniel's older brother, in my fifth year (his seventh); then I moved on to Lucius in our sixth year; and finally I went to Daniel in our seventh year. Sibyl was horribly jealous of me, partly because she loved Daniel, but also because she didn't see why I should have had three boyfriends when she had none.   
  
Anyway, Lucius and I did not have a civil break up. He called me a slut and swore to never speak to me again. So far he has managed to carry through with that threat. Sibyl was heartbroken and furious that I was dating Daniel; she called me a tramp and left to hang out with the other Hufflepuffs. Poppy had already been drifting towards her Ravenclaw friends; my dating Daniel gave her the excuse to politely float away. So Daniel and I spent our seventh year alone together, without our friends. For us though, it was fine. We were perfectly happy together. I think we had about two months of happiness before I began my trip to infamy.  
  
*****  
  
Professor Albus Dumbledore had three sons with his ex-wife: Arthur, William, and Richard. Richard, on his father's urging, became the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher right after graduating from Hogwarts. He was young and handsome, and all of the female students got crushes on him, myself included. No matter what though, he always kept himself a bit aloof, never actually doing anything with them -- or nothing as far as I knew. But in my seventh year, he finally picked someone -- me.  
  
We began our affair in November. That year I was trying to become an Animagus, and he had offered to help me. (Actually, I think his father made him.) We got very close, and soon sparks flew.  
  
It began on a seemingly innocent night. I was in his office, trying to work on my transformation. The first step was to become the size of a cat, but I still couldn't get it.  
  
"I give up!" I exclaimed after what seemed like the millionth unsuccessful try. I threw my wand in exasperation. "I'll never get it!" I heard laughter and looked over to see Richard laughing at me. I was sitting on top of his desk, and he was sitting in one of the chairs facing it.  
  
"I'm glad you think this is so amusing," I grumbled sourly. One thing I'd learned about Richard Dumbledore was that he was very little like his father. He was young, playful, boyish, and rarely serious.  
  
He grinned. "Thanks, it is a pretty good show."  
  
I scowled even harder at him.  
  
He stood up and moved over to my side. "Don't do that. Smile. You have such a pretty smile."  
  
I forced a fake grin. "Oh yay, I'm so happy that I'm terrible at shape-changing," I said sarcastically. I stood and began to gather my books.  
  
"Don't go Minerva," Richard said, snagging my arm. "Stay. You're really good at this. It just takes time. That's all."  
  
I looked down and tried to force my lower lip from trembling. I was more upset than I tried to let on. I was so used to being Minerva McGonagall: Class Brain that I wasn't used to failure.  
  
Richard tilted my head up to see me better and smiled when he saw the tears accumulating across my face. He leaned down. Before I realized what was happening, he was kissing me.  
  
Our first kiss was magical. It was everything a kiss should be -- warm, firm, gentle, and loving. I felt my pulse pound throughout my body. This much more intense than anything had been with Arthur or Lucius or Daniel. This was magic.  
  
I threw my arms around his neck, and he lifted me up so that I was once again sitting on his desk. We'd already cleared the top off when I'd first entered.  
  
Still kissing, he began to pull off my robes, shedding his as well. He took off my school tie with little trouble. Suddenly he pulled back. At first I was confused, until I realized that he wanted me to pull off the rest of my uniform. Hastily, I did so, tossing my sweater, blouse, and skirt randomly. Richard, meanwhile managed to strip down to his boxers in seemingly record time.  
  
We came together again, kissing passionately in our underwear. I didn't even notice when Richard pulled off my underwear. One minute it was one, and the next I was sitting against the cold desk.  
  
Richard pushed me down onto the desk, and then we did It. The big It.  
  
For all of my boyfriends, I was still a virgin when I got together with Richard. Arthur was always careful to keep our relationship as platonic as possible -- that was the problem, he treated me too much like a little girl; I wouldn't let Lucius get anywhere; and Daniel and I hadn't been dating long at all. With them there had always seemed to be reasons for no, but with Richard I let myself be swept away in the moment. Or maybe he was just a more forceful sweeper.  
  
In any case, that began our year-long affair. On the surface, I continued to date Daniel. I didn't want to deceive him like that, but Richard pointed out that my suddenly breaking up with him would seem suspicious. So I dated Daniel during the day, and I slept with Richard at night. For several months, no one noticed. And then, all hell broke loose.  
  
*****  
  
A few months after Richard and I began our affair, I came to the conclusion that I was definitely pregnant. I'd had suspicions ever since I began skipping my period, and after missing several there was no more denying it. The problem was that I didn't know how Richard would react. I didn't want him to get angry.  
  
When I finally told him though, he didn't explode like I thought he would. Instead, he just got very quiet. I'll never forget what he said.  
  
"Thank you for bringing this to my attention, Minerva. Don't worry. I'll take care of this."  
  
Not exactly a wild declaration of love, but I was relieved that he would help me take care of things.  
  
Richard's solution was for us to get married right after graduation and raise the baby together. He had a job as Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher -- although there had been rumors that he was planning on leaving to travel -- so he could support us. Until then, I would try to hide it. Every morning, I drank a potion designed to alter my appearance so that nobody could tell. Supposedly it wouldn't hurt the baby, but my fears were not assuaged until Tabby was a perfectly healthy, bright, and happy girl several years old.  
  
Of course I broke things off with Daniel. I wasn't about to drag him into this with me. I knew, even if Richard did not, that no amount of planning and potions would hide this forever. The students at Hogwarts would figure it out eventually. All I told Daniel was that things weren't working out between us like I'd hoped. It was true, in a way.  
  
As the months ticked by, I grew very pale and weak. The potion left me appearing thin and feeling constantly sick. I had no appetite and very little stamina. Every night I would fall asleep studying, unable to stay awake long enough to complete all my work. Everyone noticed, although I told them nothing. How would it look, the Head Girl getting pregnant by a professor? I was determined to maintain Richard's and my good names until the end.  
  
If it wasn't for that nosey Sibyl Trelawney, we might have made it to the end. As it was, she was the one who revealed the truth to the entire school one morning during dinner. My former best friend, made bitter by jealousy and rejection, twisted into my enemy. She stood up one day in April, shortly after Easter, and triumphantly proclaimed my scandal.  
  
"Guess what? Head Girl, Minerva McGonagall is pregnant!" she crowed happily. "The father is Professor Dumbledore, the younger!"  
  
Everyone stared at me as I gasped, turned even whiter, and then fled the Great Hall. They took my sudden departure as conformation of Sibyl's statement. By the end of the day, everyone was talking about it. The professors almost expelled me, and they almost fired Richard. It was only Professor Albus Dumbledore who managed to save us both.  
  
I have never been able to forgive Sibyl for that betrayal.  
  
After that, I stopped taking the potion. There seemed little point in attempting to hide the truth. It didn't matter though, I continued to do poorly. Out of all of my former friends, only Poppy showed any concern for me. The others tried to pretend that we never were friends. I can't say that I blame them too much. In one year I had turned myself from the popular, bright Head Girl to a scandalous slut being whispered about in the corridors.  
  
Somehow, I managed to graduate with my class. The academics weren't too hard, although it was difficult taking my final exams when I felt like I might pass out at any moment. The real challenge was making it through with my peers. It was extremely hard to have every eye watching me in a negatively curious way.  
  
On the last day of term, I did not ride home on the train with everyone else. That was the day my first daughter was born. It took a long time and was extremely painful; but when I held her and looked into her little baby eyes (one blue and one green), somehow it all seemed worth it.  
  
*****  
  
Richard and I named her Tabitha McGonagall-Dumbledore. For many years we were happy. We had little money and no free time, but we did have each other. I got a job right away teaching Transfiguration at Hogwarts, and that took up most of my time. It didn't help that my first class included James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew. The rest of my time I spent on Tabby. I loved her dearly, and so did Richard.  
  
Tabby was always a precocious child. It didn't take long before she was running around the castle, making friends with the ghosts and students and learning all of the secret passages. She adored Hogwarts. Her best friend among the Marouders was Remus Lupin, because he was the only one who was nice to her (unlike Sirius and Peter) but didn't have a girlfriend (unlike James). When Tabby entered Hogwarts at age eleven, she was thrilled.  
  
Richard and I were always careful after she was born not to have any more children. Tabby was more than enough child for us to handle. However, shortly after she entered Hogwarts, I became pregnant again. This time was much easier as I didn't have to hide it from everyone. Our second daughter was born on September 1, and we named her Victoria McGonagall-Dumbledore.  
  
Tabby was a good child but still very mischevous and needy. Vicky, on the other hand, was the easiest, most perfect child a parent could ever dream for. She was quiet, clean, well-behaved, and appropriately cautious. Like Tabby, Vicky ran around the castle during her childhood, but she didn't get into trouble the way Tabby used to. So, when Tabby was sixteen and Vicky was four, Richard and I had our last child: Elizabeth McGonagall-Dumbledore, born on Halloween. We might have had more, but something happened to make us end our marital life.  
  
*****  
  
Ever since Tabby was born, Richard was restless. Not to say that he didn't adore his daughters, he did very much. However, Richard had an adventurous, wild spirit in him. He needed excitement and adventure, both of which was lacking in our life. The restlessness grew through Tabby's childhood, Vicky's infanthood, and Lizzie's birth. Finally, in December after Lizzie was born, he confronted me.  
  
"Minerva," he said. "I have to leave."  
  
"Leave? Where? How long?" I asked.  
  
"I don't know. I just need to get out of here."  
  
I fixed him my best teacher-glare. "What do you mean you don't know? Are you just planning on running away, or something?"  
  
"No, no, of course not. I just need to get out of here for a while and stretch my legs." He leaned forward and whipped out the old Richard Dumbledore silver tongue. "I'm smothering here, Minerva. I mean, I love the girls, but I need something more. I'm not cut out for this boring life as a father. I need adventure."  
  
"What are you saying?" I asked quietly. "Are you leaving me?"  
  
"Of course not, Minerva. I love you. I just want to go away for a while. That's all. Don't worry. I'll come back home."  
  
So I let him go. To this day I don't know what possessed me to make such a decision. I just thought that I had no other choice. I'd begun to notice that we weren't happy like we once were, and I'd hoped that a little absence would make the heart grow fonder.  
  
Eight months later, I was a widow.   
  
*****  
  
Richard never came home from that adventure of his. He went missing, and no one has heard from him since. Everyone assumes that he died out in the forest alone or something similar.  
  
In any case, he left me a widow that summer, the summer before Tabby's seventh year. He left me with one seventeen-year-old, one almost five-year-old, and one infant who had not yet celebrated her first birthday. I was 35.  
  
Tabby was angry for a long time. She'd been especially close to her father. They were of kindred spirits. Right after graduation, she ran away like her father did. Only she did come back. Eventually, she did come back.  
  
Vicky has only the simplest memories of her father. They don't bother her normally. I'm glad. Richard was a remarkable person, and it's hard to think that he's actually gone forever.  
  
When Vicky reached her eleventh birthday, I sent her away, far away, to Menlo Park School of Magic in Menlo Park, USA. No one can understand why I did that. I always use the excuse that it wasn't safe at Hogwarts, what with Albus bringing the Sorcerer's Stone. But it was more than that. I saw how the other children teased Tabby for her scandalous birth. It was very hard on her. All of the children whispered and giggled when they talked about poor Tabby with her horrible parents: her father, a Hogwarts professor, who had gotten his teenaged student pregnant. Even now it's a horrible scandal. I wanted Vicky to escape all that. I wanted her to go someplace where she wouldn't have to worry about cruel gossip about her parents.  
  
Lizzie does not remember her father at all, obviously. It hurts her though. She feels left out because he left when she was so young. I want to tell her that she's lucky. Lizzie doesn't have to feel the constant pain of knowing that he's gone. She can't remember his patented smile and looks. Lizzie is the luckiest of us all.  
  
*****  
  
Epilogue  
  
Although Richard has been gone for years, I still find him creeping into my thoughts at every opportunity. Sometimes I am angry: for his sleeping with while I was a student, for his getting me pregnant, and for his dying. Sometimes I am grateful: for his giving me my three beautiful daughters. I miss him constantly. Richard was that sort of person. He had so much personality and character. He was so amiable and likable. I've loved him forever, and even his death can't stop that.  
  
Next year, Lizzie will be going to Hogwarts. I hope by that time everyone will have forgotten. I would hate for her to have to endure the gossip like Tabby.   
  
Every year I expect Sibyl to mention it to her students. When the latest Weasley or Malfoy arrives at school, I expect Daniel or Lucius to have told him or her all about it. But they never have. They never do. They never will. We were friends once, and I like to think that their silence is the last remnant of that one great frienship. 


End file.
